Finding the right sport for your child
Team Sports or Individual Sports?
By Christa Melnyk Hines
Youth sports offer a host of emotional and physical benefits, from helping kids stay active to building self-esteem and learning to work with others. But knowing which sport is best for your child often depends on your child’s personality, as well as the time and money you’re willing to invest in a particular activity.
Aim for fun. Many parents naturally gravitate toward introducing their kids to the sports they enjoyed as children. While this is a good place to start, your child may not end up sharing your enthusiasm. And you may go through several sports before you find one that’s the right fit for your child.
“We really need to look at what our kids do to have fun. If they’re having fun, they’ll stay in the sport longer. They won’t burn out,” says Randy Goldstein, D.O., a board certified pediatrician who specializes in youth sports medicine. “If they’re having fun, they’re more likely to make goals that are to their highest potential.”
Benefits of Organized Sports for Kids
Participation in youth sports yields a broad scope of benefits beyond the thrill of competition. It enhances critical thinking and problem-solving skills and helps kids to develop social skills. It may be the first time in your child’s life to work as a team – something they will be required to do in many aspects of their adolescent and adult lives.
Sports and physical exercise also can be an important component to reducing anxiety and depression. Participation in youth sports generally leads to a life-long active lifestyle whether they continue in their same chosen sport as adults or not.
Mandy Reale, hockey director with the Scotty Gomez Foundation, recognizes that her players are developing skills that reach beyond the rink. “For a lot of these kids, it’s their first experience with socialization and being part of a group,” Reale points out. “And hockey’s a loud, fast sport, so as they grow, it’s a great opportunity for players to learn how to control their emotions in an intense situation.”
Life’s moral dilemmas, interpersonal conflicts, and heart-wrenching emotional struggles are played out on ball fields, ice rinks, and in gymnasiums every day. Participation in sports throughout childhood and adolescence can provide the psychological maturation and stress necessary to help the developing child withstand the emotional rollercoaster that is life.
Pros of team sports
“In a team sport, the kids have to work together towards a common goal and take instruction from a coach who isn’t necessarily a parent,” Goldstein says. “This is important to learning how to be around future teachers, future bosses and future leaders.”
Meredith Dickinson says her son Tyler, 14, who plays football, baseball and basketball, thrives in a team atmosphere. He is motivated to improve by playing alongside more talented teammates.
“He works hard to be better. He may not be the best on the field, but he works hard to support his teammates,” Dickinson says.
Every child progresses at his or her own speed. Encourage your young athlete toward his personal goals with positive, calm support. And celebrate his personal accomplishments along the way.
“Watch for individual progress, not what your child’s teammates are doing. Your child may seem behind or ahead of the others. This can change like the weather,” Goldstein says. “It takes one or two seasons to judge improvement and success-not one or two competitions.”
The downside?
Much like individual sports, team sports like hockey and soccer have become more year-round in nature. Although this approach can help the team and individual players grow stronger and more skilled over time, families may find that the sport is more of a time and money commitment than they’d bargained for.
Pros of individual sports
Much of the success in individual sports like tennis, dance, swimming and gymnastics depends on the motivation of the particular athlete. Athletes who excel at individual sports find satisfaction pushing themselves to achieve a personal goal rather than relying on the team to help them get there.
Dickinson says this is true for her daughter Lauren, 11, who swims.
“Swimming is a good fit for her because it is her and the clock,” Dickinson says. “She doesn’t want to have the win or lose depending on teammates.”
While your child might prefer an individual sport, that doesn’t mean she has to sacrifice the support of a team.
“Even individual sports have the camaraderie or the partnership of a team,” Goldstein says, who works with premier-level gymnasts. “They travel together and learn to become partners and accomplish individual goals, but as a team.”
The downside?
Not all kids feel drawn to the spotlight during a performance or sporting event. And some kids may put undue pressure on themselves to reach personal goals, causing the negatives to outweigh the positives. Some parents also find it difficult watching their youngsters navigate the pressures of a sport on their own.
“As a parent, it’s tough to watch your 9-year-old play in her first tennis tournament where she’s responsible for scoring, pace of the game, calling shots and settling disputes,” says Jackie Kindred. “A great experience for her, but unnerving for a parent.”
Kindred’s daughter Rose, now 12, has since turned her attention to club volleyball, but she feels that both team and individual sports have benefited her daughter’s personal growth.
“As a parent, I’m glad she did both. It’s impossible for me to say one is better than another. It depends on the kids, the coaches and the sport,” Kindred says. “But I do think the exposure to both is crucial.”
IMPORTANCE OF PARENT SUPPORT
It’s important to not view your child’s participation in sports as a “child-care” opportunity. It’s not enough to just drop them off for practice or games, especially at the younger ages.
Both coaches and parents can help competitors deal with the aftermath of winning and losing. However, neither coaches nor other influential role models can serve as a substitute for parents. The presence of parents as onlookers and supporters of their children’s academic and athletic endeavors sends clear messages of love, pride and affirmation to their children. In order to achieve genuine self-esteem, children must achieve goals they have set for themselves. They have a much better chance of doing so with active parental support.
Attend your children’s sporting events, and be their biggest fan.If you have the time and resources be a coach, be an organizer, be a team Mom or Dad, or be a parent willing to give your neighbors’ kids a ride to practice.
Join the many dedicated parent and coach volunteers willing to participate to make our kids’ experience in sports as fun, healthy and safe as possible.
